A parent’s guide to young love

From sex to heartbreak to a horrible partner, a teenager’s first ‘proper’ relationship offers 1,001 opportunities for parents to say or do the wrong thing. Here are some survival tips

When I tell my children I’m writing about how parents cope with their offspring’s first love they are all – separately, explosively – incredulous. “You’re writing about how parents cope?” all four say, one after the other. “Why? It’s all about the kid, not the parents.”

So there’s the heart of the matter. When our adolescent children embark on their first “real” relationship – often, if polls are to be believed, around the age of 14 or 15 – they think it’s all about them and doesn’t really concern us. But we can see ghosts and echoes of our own lives in what they are going through. We fear patterns will repeat; we think their stories will mirror our own. Plus, we struggle with the idea that they will prioritise a relationship that isn’t with us. It’s a move for emotional independence and there’s a letting-go for parents as well as exciting autonomy for children.

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from The Guardian http://bit.ly/2YU5vnH