Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Resistance FRIDAY!

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Late Night Snark: May Flowers Edition

"President Trump's attorney general William Barr appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee to explain the way he handled the Mueller Report. Democrats say the report is exactly what we thought it would be, so why is the attorney general saying it wasn't? And that seems to be Robert Mueller's position, too. He believes the attorney general misrepresented his findings to benefit the president. Basically Mueller sent Bill Barr a wolverine. Bill Barr pulled it out of the cage and said, 'Hey everyone, look at this bunny! Isn’t it cute?'"

—Jimmy Kimmel

”When the attorney general lies to Congress, it’s a crime. When the president does it, it’s the State of the Union.”

—Stephen Colbert

"House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer told reporters that they have reached an agreement with President Trump to pursue a $2 trillion infrastructure bill. That's right---they have an 'agreement' with Trump just like his contractors, the students at Trump University, and his first two wives."

—Seth Meyers

"As best I can tell, [according to Trump] Washington committed only one major blunder as President: He failed to put his name on Mount Vernon and thereby bungled an early opportunity at branding. Clearly deficient at the art of the deal, the poor man had to settle on the lowly title of Father of His Country."

—Historian Ron Chernow at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

"If Trump really wanted to ruin journalism, he'd put his name on it."

—Samantha Bee at the Not The White House Correspondents' Dinner

"Samsung has announced that to make it easier for users to watch smartphone videos, it will be selling a TV that can pivot between orientations. Upon hearing that, Mike Pence threw out his TV. "

---Seth Meyers

C’mon down and splash. Tonight we’ve got a taco truck on every corner. Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

from Daily Kos http://bit.ly/2vzGuAE