Tears, honesty and flirty games: how we escaped our married sex rut

After 15 years and three children, my husband and I found ourselves stuck in an ‘intimacy impasse’. Could a therapist help us sizzle again?

It’s usually when I have my head in the dishwasher that my husband will come up and say, “Hey love, do you fancy a cuddle tonight?” I don’t know how, but somehow “cuddle” has, over the years, become the cute (but loaded) word for sex in our house. And I, often wanting just a cuddle – one that doesn’t involve an erection, merely a straight up, PG cuddle – often simply clam up.

We have a shared craving for closeness but opposing strategies to reach it. While Jim would happily shag his way to a chat, I want to chat my way to a shag. For him, physical connection fuels the emotional, while for me the emotional is paramount for the physical to ensue – and all of this has led us to an intimacy impasse. A sex rut.

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from The Guardian http://bit.ly/2JRJxwf